Archive for August, 2010

Holy Uncontrollable Yawns Batman, It’s Date Night! Part Deux

By Scarlet Mom | August 31, 2010 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Spicing Up Date Night | 1 Comment

How could I forget number six? My thoughts were once again tied up and in the gutter in anticipation of MY number six. Number six is one of my favs because I’m a single mom whose ex lives out of state. That means I don’t get many weekends off like a lot of single parents or have one week on, one week off like the ex and I used to. Don’t get me wrong, I love my little guy like nothing on this planet. But give a bitch a break…I need some me time, some us time, some vodka time. So why didn’t I post yesterday? Why was I tied up for hours on end??

6. Why not…have an afternoon delight? Take off from work early (please do this responsibly, don’t get fired over it), meet each other at the house (no kiddos!!) or at a hotel, break out the lingerie (I chose a corset and FMPs), toys, foods, VODKA, you name it. You have the place to yourselves and if you can get away early enough and the kids have after school care, you can have hours and hours of fun. He pleases you, you please him. Dirty talk, pillow talk. It’s never ending and you’ll find yourself scouring your calendar to find availability for your next clandestine tryst!!

Still Rockin’ It.
Scarlett Mom

Holy Uncontrollable Yawns Batman, It’s Date Night!!

By Scarlet Mom | August 30, 2010 | Spicing Up Date Night | 3 Comments

Yawn. Sigh. Yawn. Zzzz. It’s date night. Again. Oh joy. The night that so many couples set aside each week or each month that is supposed to spice up their relationship has sadly become a day that many dread. One reason that the movie Date Night is so funny to so many people is that it really hits a nerve and mimics many relationships.

“Do you want to have sex?”

“I don’t do know. Do you? I’m kind of tired.”

THIS is date night? Someone shoot me in the head.

I read recently that married couples, or couples that have been together for awhile, should French kiss for at least ten minutes each day. When is the last time that you French kissed your mate? Planted one on him (or her)? A pure, passionate, unadulterated kiss that made you both tingle and want to continue in the bedroom? A kiss should be sultry, teasing…starting gently by just barely kissing the lips. Gently grabbing one lip with your teeth then teasing it with your tongue. By now your lover should be very intrigued and aroused and will meet your kiss. Now your tongues meet…and dance…and flirt. And the kiss truly begins. But, I digress. We were talking about date night.

Date night should not be a burden nor should it be boring. It should not be dinner at the same restaurant, at the same time, with the same friends, with the same food, with the same bedtime, with no one getting any action. Who the hell came up with this scenario?? Date night should be a game. Which one of you can come up with the best date night? If you can afford it, let there be a prize. Whoever wins picks the next vacation spot (and be fair; men, no golf vacations, women, no spa vacations) or whatever floats your boat.

I’m going to suggest a few things for you. The format of “Why not…” comes from Ricky Gervais: Out of England stand up DVD. If you’ve never seen it, then there’s a date night for you. He is an absolute riot!! British humor, in my opinion, is the best. They are very dry and witty. If you’re going to watch that then get his movie The Invention of Lying. Now when you do a movie night you have to do it the MILF way, or the Chelsea way. I have always believed that I was separated at birth from Chelsea Handler, aka Chelsea Lately. That bitch knows how to live and how to party and how to date. When on a date it’s vodka, vodka, vodka. I know when I get to spend quality time with my man, vodka is essential to unwinding from our day and just losing ourselves in each other. There is always a drink waiting for him inside the door (I’m waiting somewhere else ). Chelsea is also a vodka lover, throws parties almost daily and lives life like she’s going down on the Titanic. I think I love her. So take it from me and from Chelsea, vodka makes everything better. Spice up that movie night with vodka, some Red Bull, and don’t forget some whipped cream and chocolate sauce for later. Sex is NOT optional.

So here is your list. If you don’t like something block it out and move on. Not everything is for everyone, but don’t be scared to go outside of your comfort zone and try something new. You will never be able to find your inner self, inner strength, and inner MILF without reaching deep inside of yourself. Here goes:

Why not…have a crazy movie night? Kids to the grandparents, vodka, Red Bull, movies, sexy lingerie, whipped cream, chocolate sauce. And don’t forget that tantalizing kiss.
Why not…go to that dinner, wear a sexy dress, and don’t wear panties? Let him feel you up at dinner. Have some dirty talk at dinner. Tell him what you’re going to do to him later, or let him tell you what he’ll do to you. You’ll both be tearing each other’s clothes off by the time you get home. Go ahead and get naked in the car. It’s fun.
Why not…act out? Meet at a bar and pretend you don’t know each other. Let him pick you up. Wear an overcoat with only your bra and panties underneath and some super hot FMP’s (f*ck me pumps). Have a hotel room rented where he can take you. Hot damn!
Why not…buy some toys? Toys aren’t just for playing with alone, they can be party favors, too. Playing together, watching…it’s all good. Rent a movie, too. If porn is too much for you there is softer porn. Give it a try; you never know what might turn you on until you try.
Why not…go to a strip club? Ever been? Going as a couple for a date night can be very erotic. And honey, the lap dance isn’t for him.

Still Rockin’ It.
Scarlet Mom

DIET = Die Mther Fcker, Die

By Scarlet Mom | August 28, 2010 | Eating Right | Comments Off

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I also grew up with an emotionally abusive father who told me I wasn’t good enough nor did I look good enough so finding myself on my own and becoming comfortable with me was truly important. It really isn’t important what size your clothes are or how you stack up next to your friends, what’s important is how YOU feel inside your own skin. And whatever you do, never, and I mean never, compare yourself to supermodels and actresses. If your whole life was about looking good and all your photographs were photo shopped, you would look like that, too. Don’t forget about their personal trainers, chefs, stylists, and entire staff dedicated to making them look good. It truly takes an army.

Diets don’t work. Diet is the word die with a “t” at the end. I have done it; your friends have done it; you have done it. You diet. You go back to your regular routine. You gain ALL your weight back. DIETS DON’T WORK. It’s about changing your whole mindset about the way you eat. And guess what else? No more eating off your kids’ menu! I don’t eat what I feed my little guy. Sure, once in a while I indulge…but moderation is the key. If you’re eating right then a splurge here and there won’t hurt you. It also will keep you from binging. Just remember: one or two pieces of pizza versus four or five; a few bites of your kids’ ice cream versus getting your own serving; use a small plate versus a big one so you get less food. You get the idea.

For your own food intake moderation, color, and six meals versus three will work wonders. Stay away from processed and fried foods. When shopping at the grocery store first cruise the outside perimeter for the fresh produce, chicken, fish, and lean beef. Steam your vegetables, don’t boil them; you will boil away the nutrients. And don’t peel them…most of the goodness is in the peel (do wash them thoroughly). Serving sizes should be small. A piece of chicken should fit easily in the palm of a woman’s hand. Add lots of color (the veggies) and very little carbs. What carbs you do add should be whole grain. Rice doesn’t have to be brown, Basmati actually is the best rice for you from what I have read. Plate it all on a small plate. Your brain sees your plate as full. Take your time and chew every bite thoroughly enjoying and savoring the flavor. It takes 20 minutes for your stomach to tell your brain that you’re full so take your time. And no fluids while you eat. The trigger that makes you feel full is at the top of your stomach. If you drink while you eat it pushes the food down requiring you to eat more to feel full. You should not drink 30 minutes prior or 30 minutes after eating.

For your three extra meals per day I like to do protein drinks, especially if you are trying to drop a few pounds. Either way, a diet with high protein, low carbs, very little fried and processed food will make you feel unbelievably good. The best protein drink I have found is from Bariatric Advantage (www.bariatricadvantage.com). The drinks contain 27grams of protein and very little fat, sugar, or carbs. They also pack them with vitamins. And…they taste great!! For weight loss, mix them with water; to maintain, mix them with skim milk or soy milk. They are designed for bariatric patients (weight loss surgery patients) but anyone can use them. A bag of the protein costs $49.99 which is only $1.40 per serving. That’s cheaper than anything you will find in the grocery store.

The most important thing about deciding to eat differently and make a change in your life is to do it for you. You can’t feel good about yourself unless you decide to make this change. Only you can unleash your inner goddess. Sex appeal, confidence, that inner MILF…it’s time to show the world what you’ve got!

Don’t think that you can never enjoy a sweet again. As a mom and girlfriend, last night I made a delicious NY style cheesecake for all of us. Yummers! If you are eating right on a daily basis, a little indulgence is fun. Moderation is the key. But, with my inner MILF whispering in my ear, I saved a piece for the boyfriend and I to enjoy on our own. Have you seen 9½ Weeks? You get the idea.

Still Rockin’ it.
Scarlet Mom

Helping the everyday mom find her inner MILF

By Scarlet Mom | August 25, 2010 | Being a Mom IS Sexy | 10 Comments

Day 1. Blog 1.

A few months ago I decided I would start blogging and talking about the things that, as a divorced single dating mom, I noticed on a day-to-day basis about myself. Things that I have learned along the way…learned the hard way, learned through reading, learned through studying and wanting to be a model, learned through self discovery of myself.

I decided I wanted to reach out and touch a lot of the moms out there. Moms trying to find something for themselves once again or maybe find themselves for the first time ever. You may not even be a mom; you could be someone approaching your 30’s but both of you are starting to worry about aging, weight gain, your sexuality. This is definitely the place to ask the questions you’re too afraid to ask anyone else. I will address many different topics from skin care to eating right to sex. If something is too racy, just cruise on past it. The best part about this Blog is you can finally stop feeling alone. This Blog will offer advice for YOU…to feel better, look better, be sexual, be hot! I found a lot of my mom friends were a bit too prudish for the “real” me and discovered some great friends through Facebook groups. A fun new site on FB is “Dear DOOM.” Dear DOOM is an advice page where you can post your most outlandish questions or read others and see what advice DOOM gives. She is an absolute riot. It’s not hard to find relief from your everyday life or find others like you with a crazy side or what I call “your real side.”

So follow me, follow us, meet new friends, and find that inner beauty, that inner MILF, that is dying to come out.

The Ever So Magnificent MILF

“She’s hot, sexy, confident, knows what she wants, loves to give, loves to receive, is sensual, erotic, spontaneous, flirtatious, naughty and nice, but mostly naughty, and makes you think endlessly of what you want to do to her.”

“Being a MILF is ALL about attitude. Younger men like MILF’s because they feel like MILF’s know things…and we do.”

“Mature, lovely, confidant, classy, knows what they want, knows how to get what they want.”

If you ask both men and women, the underlying theme of what sets a MILF apart from the rest of society is confidence, attitude, and sexuality. We exude confidence and smack you with our attitude. And sexuality? Honey, if you have stopped liking sex or, heaven forbid, have never had an orgasm, get comfortable and keep reading. If you think your man, or partner, is okay with having sex once a month or not at all, or never receiving oral sex, think again. He’s either masturbating endlessly or getting it somewhere else. Of all the men I have dated that were divorced when I would ask them about their marriage sex life, they would go on and on about the inattention from their ex-wives and how oral sex ended the day they got married. Learn from my experiences, ladies; it’s not too late.

The first quote in this Blog is from a man. My man. Let’s get your man thinking this way about you! First and foremost, how do you feel about yourself? You don’t have to be a single-digit size to be beautiful, you just have to be comfortable with you (we will address some spiffying up and weight loss solutions in a later blog). Let’s start with confidence about your sexuality. Every morning before I get in the shower I look at myself, examine myself, naked in a full-length mirror. Let’s face it, if you can’t stand to look at it, neither can he. And turn around and look at that ass!!!! Look at ALL of you. Think you’re perfect? I’m not either. My man is telling me what you read, and when I look in the mirror, I see many, many flaws. The trick is to find what is beautiful and unique about you. Do you have legs up to your armpits? Gorgeous tits? A nice ass? Big eyes? An amazing smile? Everyone has that special something; it’s up to you to find it and accentuate it and and look at it every day. Find your confidence in you and exude it.

Sex. Do you have it? Do you have orgasms? If you have never had an orgasm then it’s time you learn how. Timothy Ferriss’ book, The 4 Hour Body, has an entire chapter dedicated to the female orgasm. I highly recommend it, especially if you have never had an orgasm or are not comfortable with doing so. There are no prude MILFs in this world. Explore yourself. That smile will never leave your face. I promise. Once you learn to love your body and sex and how good it can feel, you’ll want it all the time. This is YOUR sexual peak. Ever wonder why women in their 40’s hook up with younger men? We hit our sexual peak in our 40’s; men around 18 or 20. The universe is a mean bitch. It’s time to start enjoying this beautiful time in your life and owning your sexuality.

When is the last time you initiated sex? I once asked a male friend of mine this. He told me if his wife initiated sex he knew that she had done something horribly wrong because this woman NEVER initiated sex. Never. Ladies, it is commendable to be there for your children and your family but you cannot exist solely for your kids. You must save part of yourself for you and your marriage/partner. Always remember: A lady in public; a whore in the bedroom.

I have so much more to share, but I think I will save it for another day. I would love to hear feedback. Let me know what you want to hear about. Was this too racy? Not enough?? Let me know….

Still rockin’ it.
Scarlet Mom