Archive for February, 2012

For My Friend Marty: RIP Eric Wilsey

angel

Death.

There are as many traditions around death as there are cultures amongst us. Many times we find peace in the death of a very ill loved one but many times death strikes suddenly taking those among us before we are ready to let them go. Life is very unfair in this way and no matter what faith you study or practice, it is very hard to make sense of or peace with death, God, or the Universe when it takes someone you love dearly.

For Christians, death means being reunited with previously lost loved ones and being taken up to Heaven. “For those who die in Christ, death is union with the Lord. Jesus informed the dying thief, ‘Today you shall be with me in paradise’ (Lk. 23:43).”

In Judaism, death is not a tragedy, even when it occurs early in life or through unfortunate circumstances. Death is a natural process. Their deaths, like their lives, have meaning and are all part of God’s plan. In addition, Jews have a firm belief in an afterlife, a world to come, where those who have lived a worthy life will be rewarded. Mourning practices in Judaism are extensive, but they are not an expression of fear or distaste for death. Jewish practices relating to death and mourning have two purposes: to show respect for the dead and to comfort the living who will miss the deceased.

Buddhists believe they will pass away eventually as a part of the natural process of birth, old-age and death and that they should always keep in mind the impermanence of life. To Buddhists, however, death is not the end of life, it is merely the end of the body we inhabit in this life, and their spirit will still remain and seek out a new body and new life.

To me, when a loved one passes, none of these are really that comforting. Loss creates a great void and it physically hurts your heart and soul. What comforts me in times like this is the support of friends and family.

When someone I care about dies I always take the time to read the words of W. H. Auden and remember the person I have lost. Marty, my heart goes out to you and your family because nothing any of us do can heal the pain you are feeling now. Remember your brother fondly and take time to mourn his life and his memory. Know that you are loved dearly.


Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Ladies: Are You Helpless If Your Vehicle Breaks Down?

garage

Yesterday, in the parking lot of the grocery store my car wouldn’t start. This was a no brainer for me since I am a very smart cookie and carry my own jumper cables. I waited for the owner of one of the cars parked around me to return to their car so I could ask for a jump. What appalled me were the two ladies who were willing to help but had no idea how to jump a car and couldn’t even open the hood of their own vehicles.

Ladies, wake up! Being a damsel in distress isn’t appealing and it can be dangerous. You may have roadside assistance but what if they’re an hour or two away because you’re out in the boonies? Every woman needs to know what to carry in her trunk, how to jump her car, and how to change a tire. No excuses.

WHAT YOU SHOULD CARRY IN YOUR CAR/TRUNK
A fully charged cell phone
Jumper cables
Warm blankets
Bottled water
Flashlight
Roadside flares/reflective triangle
Ice scraper (if you live in areas where it snows)
First aid kit
Portable air compressor

HERE IS HOW TO JUMP A CAR BATTERY

HERE IS HOW TO CHANGE A TIRE

Watch these videos as many times as you need. Go outside and check out your vehicle. Can you open its hood? Learn its ins and outs. Being an intelligent, informed, self-sufficient woman is hot! Go for it.

Still Rockin It
Scarlet Mom

It’s Mardi Gras, Mutha Fuckas!!

mardigras

Welcome to the jungle, baby! ScarletMom is back from Mardi Gras and let me tell you, I was born to do Mardi Gras in New Orleans. We stormed Bourbon Street and it will never be the same. Holy shit! From getting body paint (the picture is the body painter, not me) to getting so many beads I couldn’t carry them all to shocking everyone around me, Mardi Gras is my soulmate when it comes to parties.

I tried to get a picture flashing in front of the Jesus people but they kept jumping in front of me. Sinners the bunch of them! I don’t care where I go when I die; just make sure I’m on the A-list for the parties.

As many of you know I love to do things solely for their jaw-dropping power and “wow” factor. This was accomplished at Mardi Gras. The best part of our trip was when a couple approached us and asked Drew for a string of his beads (bartering at its best). She offered to let us both fondle her boobs. We made the deal and she lifted her shirt. After the fondling she hugged me good-bye and gave me a kiss…and what a kiss! The “WOW” uttered from Drew and the seven and half minute recovery time needed by Mr. Shocker to regain his composure was epic. I apologize for not having a photo or video of the event. :)

We ended the night where else, but a strip club. Mr. Shocker folded length-wise about forty $1 bills and laid them all along the stage for all five of us to use for lap dances. Another epic event. I love strip clubs and they love me. It was an absolute blast. (Mr. & Mrs. Shocker got their name because I explained to them what “the Shocker” is. If you don’t know, Google it.)

I haven’t known Drew for very long and this was the first time I met his friends. I have to say all of them (Drew included) are among the finest people I have met and some seriously fun people, too. I would party with these guys any day of the week. You guys rock!!

Next year in Mardi Gras!!

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

PS The very top picture is me in the very cool Mardi Gras mask that was a gift from Drew. How awesome is that?

Saying “I Love You” Isn’t Just for Valetine’s Day

heart

Today, my Facebook page is flooded with posts about flowers, chocolates, and special dinners. But my absolute favorite post was this one:

This morning I said to Brenda, “Happy Valentines Day, wife.”. She replied, “You make every day Valentines day…” and kissed me. I am going to redouble my efforts in that regard, every day. She deserves it…

I agree with my friend, Marty. Every day should be Valentine’s Day. Just like every day should be Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and your kid’s day…you get my drift.

I think it’s a wonderful sentiment to buy flowers and chocolates and have a special date night on these occasions. But don’t wait. Make everyday special. Every morning when you wake up, take the time to tell your special lady how gorgeous she looks. Stroke her hair and give her a kiss before the kids come bouncing in. Ladies, when your man is still sleeping, edge up next to him and spoon with him. Shower him with kisses. If you can do this naked, even better! Show that special someone that you care every single day. Once a year is surely not enough.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all you lovers out there. Make this the start of a brand new year of showing your love every single day!

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

Moms Truly Know The Definition of Exhaustion

Big Kisses

I’m tired. Really, truly tired and exhausted. I love my little guy “infinity plus one” (as he puts it) but sometimes the pressure is just too much and feel I just can’t go one more day.

Most parents would agree that their little one is beyond perfect. Mine is, too. But the reality is my sweet boy is ADHD and the past week has been littered with him trying to talk back, trying to negotiate for more TV time, more computer time, not doing his school work and, most recently, and full-out temper tantrum and melt down. He has been doing so perfectly well I should have known that we were due. All of this stress brings on my migraines and one exhausted mama. It’s a vicious circle.

But then I remember to breathe. I remember that we, as a society, cling too tightly to the word “normal” and what our inner circle deems appropriate. I try to remember what my studies of The Buddha have taught me about attachment and clinging; how we all tend to cling to what humanity dictates normal behaviors, punishments, and societal norms.

I breathe and remember that I’m doing the best I can.

I breathe and remember that my son is doing the best he can.

And so, instead of wondering what everyone else would do in this situation I followed my heart. My son and I sat down and talked about what was going on. He did lose some privileges for a day but most of all, this exercise taught him to verbalize what is going on his young little head and heart. By doing this exercise repeatedly, I believe it will help him to avoid these melt-downs in the future. Anger tends to come from any unresolved emotion, be it sadness, hurt, loneliness, etc. Helping him verbalize his feelings helps us both come up with some good future solutions.

Am I still tired? OMG, yes. But I feel so much more at peace and I’m actually sleeping…we both are. Motherhood is tough but it is so rewarding. Especially when he says things to me like this:

“Mommy, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”
“Do you like my devilishly handsome good looks?”
“Do I look awesome?”
“Oh, my mommy is the best mommy in the whole wide world….” (singing)
“Mommy, I found inner peace because of you teaching me meditation.”

To all of you moms out there, keep on rockin’ motherhood. Life wouldn’t be what it is without you. But don’t forget to love yourself, hug yourself, and take a break once in a while and take a little nap.

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

Are You Sure You Want To Drink That Coke?

facts-about-soda-fat

Most of you know how I feel about sodas and what they do to your body. If I haven’t convinced you yet, Eat This Not That published another enlightening article about sodas. This time they are focusing on the disturbing side effects on sodas. If you think you’re safe because you drink diet sodas, think again! Soda is nothing but sugar water that turns to fat once inside your body. If you can’t figure out why your waist-line is constantly expanding you may want to look at your soda consumption. Just one per day can make you fat! Not to mention what they do to our environment. Just the fact that they accelerate aging made me stop drinking them long ago.

Here’s what they had to say:

Weird Fat in Weird Places

In the latest bad news for the soda industry, Danish researchers discovered that drinking non-diet soda leads to dramatic increases in fat buildup around your liver and your skeletal muscles, both of which can contribute to insulin resistance and diabetes. The study revealed that people who drank a regular soda every day for six months saw a 132 to 142 percent increase in liver fat, a 117 to 221 percent jump in skeletal fat, and about a 30 percent increase in both triglyceride blood fats and other organ fat. Their consumption also led to an 11 percent increase in cholesterol, compared with the people who drank other beverages such as water or milk.

Diet-Soda Belly

It’s not surprising that drinking all the sugar in sodas would cause weight gain, but what is surprising is that even diet soda will pack on the pounds: Researchers from the University of Texas Health Science Center monitored 475 adults for 10 years, and found that those who drank diet soda had a 70 percent increase in waist circumference over the 10-year study, compared with those who didn’t drink any soda. Those who drank more than two diet sodas per day saw a 500 percent waist expansion! A separate study the same researchers conducted on mice suggested that it was the aspartame, which raised blood glucose levels, that caused the weight gain; when your liver encounters too much glucose, the excess is converted to body fat.

Caramel Cancer-Causers

In 2011, the nonprofit Center for Science in the Public Interest petitioned the Food and Drug Administration to ban the artificial caramel coloring used to make Coke, Pepsi, and other colas brown. The reason: Two contaminants in the coloring, 2-methylimidazole and 4-methylimidazole, have been found to cause cancer in animals, a threat the group says is unnecessary, considering that the coloring is purely cosmetic. According to California’s strict Proposition 65 list of chemicals known to cause cancer, just 16 micrograms per person per day of 4-methylimidazole is enough to pose a cancer threat, and most popular brown colas, both diet and regular, contain 200 micrograms per 20-ounce bottle.

Accelerated Aging

Diet or regular, all colas contain phosphates, or phosphoric acid, a weak acid that gives colas their tangy flavor and improves their shelf life. Although it exists in many whole foods, such as meat, dairy, and nuts, too much phosphoric acid can lead to heart and kidney problems, muscle loss, and osteoporosis, and one study suggests it could trigger accelerated aging. The study, published in a 2010 issue of the FASEB Journal, found that the excessive phosphate levels found in sodas caused lab rats to die a full five weeks earlier than the rats whose diets had more normal phosphate levels—a disturbing trend considering that soda manufacturers have been increasing the levels of phosphoric acid in their products over the past few decades.

Water Pollution

The artificial sweeteners used in diet sodas don’t break down in our bodies, nor do wastewater treatment plants catch them before they enter waterways, researchers have found. In 2009, Swiss scientists tested water samples from wastewater treatment plants, rivers and lakes in Switzerland and detected levels of acesulfame K, sucralose, and saccharin, all of which are, or have been, used in diet sodas. A recent test of 19 municipal water supplies in the U.S. revealed the presence of sucralose in every one. It’s not clear yet what these low levels are doing to people, but past research has found that sucralose in rivers and lakes interferes with some organisms’ feeding habits.

Mountain Dew Mind

Dentists have a name for the condition they see in a lot of kids who drink too much Mountain Dew. They wind up with a “Mountain Dew Mouth,” full of cavities caused by the drink’s excessive sugar levels. “Mountain Dew Mind” may be the next condition that gets named after the stuff. An ingredient called brominated vegetable oil, added to prevent the flavoring from separating from the drink, is an industrial chemical used as a flame retardant in plastics. Also found in other citrus-based soft drinks and sports drinks, the chemical has been known to cause memory loss and nerve disorders if consumed in large quantities. Researchers also suspect that, like brominated flame retardants used in furniture foam, the chemical builds up in body fat, possibly causing behavioral problems, infertility, and lesions on heart muscles over time.

Toxic Cans

It’s not just the soda that’s causing all the problems. Nearly all aluminum soda cans are lined with an epoxy resin called bisphenol-A (BPA), used to keep the acids in soda from reacting with the metal. BPA is known to interfere with hormones, and has been linked to everything from infertility to obesity to some forms of reproductive cancers. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have pegged soda cans, along with restaurant, school and fast-food meals, as a major source of exposure to the chemical. And while Pepsi and Coke are currently locked in a battle to see which company can be the first to develop a 100-percent plant-based plastic bottle—which they’re touting as “BPA free”—neither company is willing to switch to BPA-free aluminum cans.

Dead Birds

Before you switch from cans to bottles, though, take a look at the photographs of Chris Jordan, an environmentalist and photographer who visited the Midway Atoll area in 2009. It’s close to the “Great Pacific Garbage Patch,” a mass of plastic debris in the Pacific Ocean where things like soda caps (which often aren’t recycled) and plastic fish netting float just beneath the surface of the water. Birds, sea turtles and other wildlife mistake the debris for food and eat large quantities of the plastic, which they are unable to digest. Ultimately, the plastic causes them to starve to death. It’s estimated that thousands of animals die this way every year.

Unknown Side Effects of GMOs

Take a look at the ingredients list of any soda, and chances are, most of them are derived from corn. 88 percent of the corn grown in the U.S. is genetically modified to resist toxic pesticides or engineered to create pesticides within the plant itself. Thanks to lax government safety regulations, and tight corporate control over who gets to test these proprietary seeds, there are no human studies that can prove or disprove whether these crops are safe. Independent scientists have found that, in animals, genetically modified crops, or GMOs, are linked to digestive tract damage, accelerated aging, and even infertility. By drinking soda, you’re taking part in the biggest science experiment on the planet.

What changes are you willing to make in your diet?

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

PS I’m so happy to be blogging again! Now that I have finished my book I have time again. Look for updates on when it will be published, probably in about 3-4 months.