This morning after reading this post from Carolyn Hax I got to thinking. Dating a man who is this gregarious in public, flirting and coming on to every woman in sight is pretty cut-and-dry. But what about the opposite?
I was in a relationship a few years ago and was pretty smitten. But one of the many red flags that kept popping up was social skills. Besides being horribly passive aggressive with me and never being able to discuss any issue we had, this guy had no social skills whatsoever. It was cute in private that we didn’t have to have “share your feelings” talks every minute of every day but I certainly expected him be a social dude. Nope. Take him out to meet my family and friends and he clammed up like he was taking the fifth. And just because he didn’t socialize with his friends, he expected me to dump mine. Once the pheromones wore off and I saw this, it was the beginning of the end.
Once, when we were outside on my front lawn playing with my son, my neighbors were out doing some yard work. They walked over and said, “hello.” I introduced him and he barely looked up from his playtime to smile. He didn’t even speak. I was mortified. Of course, when I tried to talk to him about it he shut down and changed the subject just like he always did. Usually he tried to use sex to avoid any type of discussion. If I was trying to text or call him to engage him, he turned his phone off. Very fucking annoying.
Partners who cannot act accordingly in social settings are sending you serious signals that something is wrong. Whether too much or too little interaction, a grown man or woman should know how to act once they pass the 25 year mark. Communication along with appropriate social interaction are key in any relationship. Without these, the relationship is doomed.
Still Rockin’ It