Fifteen-year-old Taylor Santos let a classmate copy her homework, and she learned the hard way never to do it again. Santos, a student a Springtown High School in Texas, was punished by a vice principal with a swift swat to her bottom using a wooden paddle. The spanking left blisters and forced her to sleep on her side that night.
This is from an article in Time magazine by Alice Park.
Do you spank your children? Would you, or do you, allow others to spank or paddle your children? What is considered going too far?
Personally, I do not spank and believe that even if you do choose to spank the school went way too far. On top of that, more and more studies are showing that spanking is not a good form of punishment. Sure, it’s the easiest and quickest way for parents to deal with a situation. But in our evolving society, shouldn’t we slow down and use the newer and better tools at our disposal?
Elizabeth Gershoff, an associate professor in the department of human development and family sciences at University of Texas at Austin, has conducted the most comprehensive analysis on spanking and its effects on children. The study showed that children who are spanked as 1-year-olds are more likely to behave aggressively and perform worse on cognitive tests as toddlers than children who are spared the punishment.
The more kids are spanked, the more problematic their behavior is. It makes kids more aggressive, more likely to be delinquent and to have mental health problems. Because children tend to mimic parental behaviors, it’s possible spanking creates a model for using aggression. Spanking is just hitting.
I hear so many of my friends basically bragging that they were spanked as kids so they now spank their kids. I see this posted on Facebook all the time and every time it is posted, a debate is sparked. Don’t we want more for our kids than what our parents gave us? Do we not want to improve upon what they taught us? Isn’t that the goal of each generation? If not, then each of us would have to stop dead in our tracks when we reached the point in our careers that equals one of our parents, for we wouldn’t dare surpass them. Take the precious knowledge that your parents gave you and build upon that, don’t stagnate it.
What can you do instead of hitting or slapping your child? Here are some basic steps found at thechildrenstrust.org:
1. Calm down.
2. Take time for yourself.
3. Be kind but firm.
4. Give choices.
5. Use logical consequences.
6. Withdraw from conflict.
7. Inform children ahead of time.
8. Ask your child to think about the behavior.
9. Remove privileges or objects that you can control.
10. Use positive, not negative, guidance.
Parenting is challenging and none of us are perfect; we are learning every day. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from other parents, friends, clergy, or a professional counselor if you are feeling out of control or just can’t handle things.
Still Rockin’ It