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What are you going to be for Halloween?

By Scarlet Mom | October 8, 2010 | Just For Fun, Spicing Up Date Night | Comments Off

Halloween. Time to dress up the kiddos and take them door-to-door to collect candy. Throw on those old sweat pants, gorge on candy and hand the rest out at the door to all those little gremlins that show up screaming “trick or treat” on your door step. Another Halloween; another boring night.

But does it really have to be like this? If you ask Scarlet Mom, the answer is “hell no.” My man and I have been planning Halloween weekend for a month now and not for our respective kids. This is date weekend gone wild. The second I asked my brother if he could watch my little guy he responded, “It’s Halloween weekend!” This is not a kid’s holiday. This is adult fun. Apparently the most difficult task is finding a babysitter.

The best part of Halloween this year is that is falls on a Sunday night. That means, if you’re like me, you can take the entire weekend to party adult style, go to costume bashes, drink to your heart’s content, and still be a good parent and drag your hungover ass out trick-or-treating Sunday night. I think that deserves a parenting award.

This is a great opportunity for you and your partner to collaborate together on costumes and what parties to attend. A pimp and a whore? Scarlet and Rhett? Catwoman and Batman? Sexy policewoman and her prisoner? Or something completely off the wall. Plan it together, shop it together. Or you can even dress up while he’s a work. Be in costume when he gets home and act out the whole fantasy. Trust me, it’s hot. What a great way to start your night. Happy Halloween!!

Still Rockin’ It.
Scarlet Mom

The 4-Hour Body, by Timothy Ferriss

By Scarlet Mom | October 5, 2010 | Eating Right, Exercise, Self Improvement | 1 Comment

Tim Ferriss’ new book, The 4-Hour Body, is now available for pre-order.

I have blogged about Tim Ferris and how he talks about by doing simple things like eating the same diet consistently and working out only four hours a week, and how you can drop twenty pounds in a month or add muscle mass. My brother did his program for a month…well he did the diet about 75% and worked out a total of four hours for the entire month. He added muscle and definition and gained quite a bit of strength. Not bad for half-assing it.

Scarlet Mom likes this book because it covers the entire body, not just the stomach and working out.

Thousands of tests later, this book contains the answers for both men and women.

From the gym to the bedroom, it’s all here, and it all works.

YOU WILL LEARN (in less than 30 minutes each):

- How to lose those last 5-10 pounds (or 100+ pounds) with odd combinations of food and safe chemical cocktails.
- How to prevent fat gain while bingeing (X-mas, holidays, weekends)
- How to increase fat-loss 300% using temperature manipulation
- How Tim gained 34 pounds of muscle in 28 days, without steroids, and in four hours of total gym time
- How to sleep 2 hours per day and feel fully rested
- How to produce 15-minute female orgasms
- How to triple testosterone and double sperm count
- How to go from running 5 kilometers to 50 kilometers in 12 weeks
- How to reverse permanent injuries
- How to add 150+ pounds to your lifts in 6 months
- How to pay for a beach vacation with one hospital visit

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are more than 50 topics covered, all with real-world experiments, many including more than 200 test subjects.

You don’t need better genetics or more discipline. You need immediate results that compel you to continue.

That’s exactly what The 4-Hour Body delivers.

Fifteen minute female orgasms? Sign me up.

Still Rockin’ It.
Scarlet Mom.

Here is Tim’s full post.

The Kingergarten Two-Step

By Scarlet Mom | October 1, 2010 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Just For Fun | Comments Off

On August 23 my little guy started kindergarten. Tears of joy streamed down my face as he literally ran for the bus. I couldn’t work all day. I just sat and daydreamed about his big day and the sweet little things he was doing throughout the day. It was a beautiful, momentous day. Then came reality.

Starting the second week of school homework (homework, in kindergarten?) started along with his daily binder that showed his behavior, which had to be initialed daily. A smiley face was a good day, and was what I was expecting. Isn’t that what all moms expect? That second Monday I eagerly dug out his binder and flipped to his daily report. WTF? What is all this writing? Where is my sweet angel’s smiley face? Rolling on the floor? Talking back and saying, “I don’t want to” when it’s time to work? Running away from the teachers? And it didn’t stop there. Back talking me, not listening, new bad words that he certainly did not pick up from me. The battle had begun. And when I say battle I mean BATTLE. Never in my life have I seen a child fight and test his limits more nor have I ever battled more to exert my authority and set powerful boundaries. Our battle at school and at home continued to escalate and it has been exhausting. A true power struggle. And as a single mom I don’t get a break. At the end of the day I would collapse in bed, sometimes in tears. I received invaluable advice from Big R and amazing encouragement. I’m not sure I would have gotten this far without him. But would it ever end? I felt sick everyday as I pulled that binder out of his backpack. We would make good progress at home only to take two steps back at school. It seemed like it would never get better. I was losing hope.

But, just when it was darkest, a ray of light. I noticed less resistance from him at home. I was able to reward his behavior. We could pull some toys out that had been taken away. Less struggling; more “yes, ma’am.” Then yesterday he brought home his best report yet. It even had a “wow” written on it. Wow!! We jumped up and down! We played in the sandbox! When I asked who he wanted to tell he said “everyone!” So today, he earned back the privilege of riding the bus to school.

Do I think this entire ordeal is over? Of course not. We have made tremendous progress at home but for my high-energy little guy sitting in a classroom all day is going to take a little more time. I’m proud of him because he’s learning and he’s trying. And kindergarten is not what it used to be. What happened to napping? And more play time? And homework?? Things have changed since I went and I only went for half a day. But always remember, everything we ever need to know, we learned in kindergarten.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, by Robert Fulghum
1. Share everything.
2. Play fair.
3. Don’t hit people.
4. Put things back where you found them.
5. Clean up your own mess.
6. Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
7. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
8. Wash your hands before you eat.
9. Flush.
10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
11. Live a balanced life–learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
12. Take a nap every afternoon.
13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how
or why, but we are all like that.
15. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup–they all die. So do we.
16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned–the biggest word of all–LOOK.

Still Rockin’ It.
Scarlet Mom

Never Settle for Second Best

By Scarlet Mom | September 29, 2010 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Just For Fun | 2 Comments

I was married for ten, miserable years. Okay…there were maybe three good years that produced my amazing little guy. But I can assure you, I’ll never do it again. And dating in your 40′s? I had all but given up hope.

It used to be that you had to wait for your friends to tell you about their relationships gone bad (or good) but now it seems that everyone pretty much publishes their entire lives in their status updates on Facebook. It’s amazing what people will tell you about their lives through social networking. I watched a couple that I barely knew literally slug it out on FB while she posted pictures of her busted lip. People talk about affairs, knock-down, drag-out fights, and people that have been dating for two weeks post every hour on the hour about how much they love their snookums and can’t live without them. Sometimes it’s entertaining; most of the time it’s way too much information.

Whatever your past is, I believe that it is important to learn from it. My sister would always beat herself up for bad relationship choices but I believe as long as you learn from them and don’t repeat those mistakes, it’s all good. And one thing we definitely agree on is never, ever settle for second best. And one thing we definitely agree on is never, ever settle for second best.We all have a list of traits that we just can’t live without, traits that are realistic, traits that were present in past relationships that we refuse to put up with anymore. Don’t let go of those. As a strong, empowered woman you have every right to say “no” to anything that resembles unhappiness or especially any type of emotional or physical abuse. Free yourself from your past and know that you are a beautiful, strong, sexy woman who deserves the man of her dreams.

Don’t think he’s out there? I believe he is. From the day I separated from my ex, I knew I would not settle. However, the journey was disenchanting. I dated a few men, some for a few months, others a few weeks, only to find that I was still making very poor choices and seemed to be choosing the same type of men, none of which were a good fit for me. Too much drama and nothing fulfilling. I was just repeating my past. I then gave up on relationships all together. I dated…one or two dates, but always disappeared quickly as soon as they wanted more. I knew it was going nowhere and I had been tainted. I was scared and had been scarred. Screw love and screw finding my soul mate; too many shattered hopes had destroyed that dream. Fuck it. Soul mates didn’t exist.

But I now believe they do. I can now look back on the relationships that I have had and see how amazing these men were…and are. I can see, especially from the most recent ones, the important lessons I have learned about life and about myself. They have taught me what things I can live without in a relationship and what things I cannot. They have taught me to be patient and to keep searching; my soul mate is out there.

Ladies, YOUR soul mate is out there. Do not give up. Don’t take shit from anyone. You deserve better…you deserve the best. If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. Don’t waste your time on Mr. Wrong. It is better to be with just your friends and with your family than wasting your time with someone who doesn’t treat you right. Be patient. Mr. Right is out there. He may not be Mr. Right Now, but he will come. And don’t let your past skew your judgment. Learn from it, use it, but have a clean, fresh, open heart ready to welcome your soul mate. I opened my eyes and my heart and what did I find? I found a whole world out there just waiting for me.

Still Rockin’ It.
Scarlet Mom

Who has more fun? Blondes, Brunettes, or Red-heads??

By Scarlet Mom | September 28, 2010 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Spicing Up Date Night, Style | Comments Off

I’m constantly amazed by the women I see in my daily life through work, in the airport, picking up the little guy from school. Some of these women look amazing and I think, “Wow. Good for you.” Others I think, “What are you thinking??” Or rather, is it that they are not thinking…or not looking? Why does it take a divorced woman to take notice of herself in the mirror? I remember when I got married my then mother-in-law gave me this gem of advice: “Now that you’re married you don’t have to worry about your appearance anymore.” Really??? My advice is the opposite. Now that you’re married you have to worry even more about your appearance. Now that you’re married you have to worry EVEN MORE about your appearance. This goes for both of you. You are now sleeping only with each other, spending gobs and gobs of time with each other, and spending endless naked time together. Make it enjoyable to stare endlessly at each other; to caress and explore each other’s bodies. When it’s time for date night, make your partner proud to be with you. Dress that hot, sexy body up and fix your hair (guys, too). And guys, you know you’re going to get some so break out that razor and play dress-up as well.

Speaking of hair, ladies, what have you done with yours lately? Did you know that your hair color changes over your lifetime due to hormones and diet? So the beautiful flowing locks that you had at 20 probably are not the same locks that you have at 40. Do you have gray showing through? If you have naturally dark hair a salt and pepper look probably looks good on you. But if you have anything lighter than “very dark” hair it only makes you look aged. The term “growing old gracefully” has changed to mean growing old with style and class. By not doing anything with your hair, cutting or coloring, you draw attention to negative aspects of yourself. By finding a great colorist and getting a fabulous cut, you can take years off your look in a matter of an hour or two. Have you ever seen Oprah do a show on makeovers and making people look ten years younger? The biggest change is coloring and cutting their hair. My stylist Leigh told me:

Anyone that has had lighter hair their whole life probably will just look aged if they choose to let their gray grow in. There are many services now to meet everyone’s gray coverage needs such as 100% opaque gray coverage or softly covered gray blending where up to 75% gray is covered. Store bought products really lie to you to sell products. If you put permanent hair color from root to end every time you are ruining the hair; it will cause the hair to over grab pigment or have extreme banding. LIKE OLD LADIES!

So which hair color has more fun? They all do…because they took the time to find a good colorist and a good stylist and are rockin’ their look. That’s the key. Read fashion magazines and work with your stylist to find something that suits you and works with your face and your hair. And hair color is fun. You can change it up, change it back, make it more intense, add highlights, have fun with it. Personally, I think red-heads have the most fun, but I’m biased. My favorite compliment from people is, “I love your hair color. Is it yours?” I always answer, “Damn straight it is. I paid for it.”

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

(Leigh is located in Houston at Alan Murphy Salon. If you would like more information about her, please contact me.)

Hey Mom! Just Breathe….

By Scarlet Mom | September 20, 2010 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Self Improvement | Comments Off

Being a mom IS sexy but it is also exhausting. Sometimes you feel like you just can’t do it, like you are at the end of your rope. MILF? Sex goddess? Fuck that. Give me a valium, some vodka, a babysitter and bubble bath and don’t talk to me…for a week. That’s me right now. Ever been there? That’s what I thought.

Within a week of starting this blog I had a woman comment on my fan page and ask, “…do you REALLY feel like a sexy MILF that is in touch with her inner beauty?? Is that an everyday feeling or just occasionally? Does that feeling just suddenly overtake you while wiping the 3 year-olds fourth poopy diaper in an hour. Or does it appear when the kids are screaming like hooligans at 6:45 in the morning while you desperately try to shush them because you are trying to let their dad sleep in??” My response was “hell no” did I feel it 24/7 but the goal was to hang on to a piece of yourself and not to lose YOU completely. No one can feel sexy with all that going on every minute of every day. That’s why I really stress to my female readers to empower yourselves and to find even just five minutes a day for yourselves, then find thirty and then turn it into an hour a day. Find something that is just for you then something that is just for your and your partner. Don’t let this fickle-ass bitch called life eat you alive.

Some weeks I find that really easy to do. Through yoga and meditation I have found it easy (or maybe easier) to be more present and in the moment and to let the things of the day go. I can have a truly shitty week but once my weekend starts, especially a night off from kids, I am truly present for it. Add to that the vodka that my significant other has waiting for me and I’m ready to rumble. But lately that hasn’t been so easy. My little guy started kindergarten in August and he is having a hell of a time adjusting. Rules, boundaries, sharing; to a strong-willed little boy with a ton, and I mean a ton, of energy, we’re having a tough time adjusting. Daily bad reports and countless notes from the teacher (let’s not forget my upcoming parent/teacher conference this week because of this behavior) are pushing me to my limits. And the behavior doesn’t stop at school. Backtalk, arguing…it’s giving this MILF a run for her money. Hanging on to “me” is harder and harder but I’m holding on tighter and tighter. I refuse to let go.

But I’m lucky. I have the sweetest, best little guy you could ask for. I have a great family in my siblings who also support me, especially my brother, who helps me daily in so many ways. I know how lucky I am but I know that not everyone is so lucky. Rest assured there are others like you out there who struggle every day with motherhood and fatherhood. I encourage you to reach out to other parents through whatever network suits you. It’s so easy today with social networking – Facebook groups (I have a couple favorites marked on my fan page), blogs, other parents at school, you name it. Take solace in numbers and reach out to those around you. Most importantly, know that you are not out here alone.

Still Rockin’ It.
Scarlet Mom