All posts in Being a Mom IS Sexy

Dr. Mom

By Scarlet Mom | March 22, 2012 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Self Improvement | Comments Off

My little guy has strep throat. Any mom knows that seeing your child suffer through something like this is horrible but let me tell you, he is milking this thing for all it’s worth.

“Mommy, can you come in here and change the channel? I’m sick.”

“Mommy, can buy me a new game on the iPad. I’m sick.”

And on, and on, and on. He’s already decided that he’ll be too sick to attend school all next week. We’ll see about that.

I really don’t mind him milking this sick thing. I know what it’s like to have strep and it truly sucks. I had it a lot when I was around 10 and I was sick as a dog until they finally took out my tonsils and adenoids. But when you were sick around my house growing up, nothing stopped and no one waited on you. And you had to be really freaking sick to render a doctor’s visit. I remember hitting the jackpot with 102 fever and my mother finally taking me to the doctor. Diagnosis: strep throat. We were scheduled to go to Houston that weekend to visit friends. Of course, I had visions of the trip being canceled and me spending the weekend curled up in bed sipping my mom’s homemade chicken soup. Wrong! My dad loaded us all up in the car and we left Austin on schedule bound for Houston.

I have to wonder what our friends thought when my parents showed up with an extremely sick AND CONTAGIOUS child. I’m glad that my father has evolved a bit and now shows much more compassion towards us when we’re sick, especially his grandson.

So now, when my sweet little guy has me jumping through hoops, I just smile and and enjoy pampering him. I relish these days of fluffing his pillows and taking care of him. He’s already talking about taking care of me when I get sick.

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

Moms Truly Know The Definition of Exhaustion

By Scarlet Mom | February 10, 2012 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Dating Life of a Single Mom, Just For Fun, Self Improvement | Comments Off

I’m tired. Really, truly tired and exhausted. I love my little guy “infinity plus one” (as he puts it) but sometimes the pressure is just too much and feel I just can’t go one more day.

Most parents would agree that their little one is beyond perfect. Mine is, too. But the reality is my sweet boy is ADHD and the past week has been littered with him trying to talk back, trying to negotiate for more TV time, more computer time, not doing his school work and, most recently, and full-out temper tantrum and melt down. He has been doing so perfectly well I should have known that we were due. All of this stress brings on my migraines and one exhausted mama. It’s a vicious circle.

But then I remember to breathe. I remember that we, as a society, cling too tightly to the word “normal” and what our inner circle deems appropriate. I try to remember what my studies of The Buddha have taught me about attachment and clinging; how we all tend to cling to what humanity dictates normal behaviors, punishments, and societal norms.

I breathe and remember that I’m doing the best I can.

I breathe and remember that my son is doing the best he can.

And so, instead of wondering what everyone else would do in this situation I followed my heart. My son and I sat down and talked about what was going on. He did lose some privileges for a day but most of all, this exercise taught him to verbalize what is going on his young little head and heart. By doing this exercise repeatedly, I believe it will help him to avoid these melt-downs in the future. Anger tends to come from any unresolved emotion, be it sadness, hurt, loneliness, etc. Helping him verbalize his feelings helps us both come up with some good future solutions.

Am I still tired? OMG, yes. But I feel so much more at peace and I’m actually sleeping…we both are. Motherhood is tough but it is so rewarding. Especially when he says things to me like this:

“Mommy, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”
“Do you like my devilishly handsome good looks?”
“Do I look awesome?”
“Oh, my mommy is the best mommy in the whole wide world….” (singing)
“Mommy, I found inner peace because of you teaching me meditation.”

To all of you moms out there, keep on rockin’ motherhood. Life wouldn’t be what it is without you. But don’t forget to love yourself, hug yourself, and take a break once in a while and take a little nap.

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

Women Over 40…And How Awesome We Are

By Scarlet Mom | November 14, 2011 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Just For Fun, Style | Comments Off

Yes, we are awesome and it took a great essayist like Andy Rooney to recognize us. In his essay Andy Rooney on Women Over Forty, Andy spells it out like no one else can. If any of you haven’t taken the time to notice just how incredibly amazing we are, then you are missing out. Big time.

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.

A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

Still Rockin’ It…even more since I turned 40.
Scarlet Mom

The Amazing Stories My Son Tells Me

By Scarlet Mom | August 14, 2011 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Just For Fun | Comments Off

As most of you know my son is adopted. I have told him many times about the day he arrived and how his dad and I got the call that the lady carrying him in her tummy called us telling us that it was time to come to the hospital. We talk about how beautiful and amazing it was the first time we saw him and how we cried when we did. I tell him about the first time I held him in my arms and how I didn’t want to ever let go; that I never did. And I tell him the most important story of all…how I loved him before I ever met him.

The first amazing story he told me was when he was getting ready to go away for the summer to be with his dad. We both were getting sad about being apart from each other and he was telling me how much he loves me and how he would miss me and Skype me every day. Then he told me the most amazing thing. He said, “Mommy, do you know that I loved you before I ever met you?” He proceeded to tell me that before he was ever born he felt my love and that he, too, loved me before he was ever born. I wept like a baby. I am crying as I write this. They are words that will stay with me forever.

Since he has gotten home from his summer away, he has a new, amazing story that he shares with me. He now tells me that he chose me as his mom. The story goes like this:

Mommy, when I was still in your tummy* I crawled out of your tummy and walked around until I found you. I chose you to be my mommy because you are the best mommy in the whole world and I love you so much. Then, I got back in your tummy so I could be born in the hospital. Are you glad I’m your son?

I tell him that he’s the best son ever and that I’m so glad he chose me as his mommy because I chose him as my son (it’s part of his adoption story we tell him). I tell him that my life would not be complete without him.

What are some of the stories and exchanges you share with your children? Do they make you weep like these make me weep? I would love to hear them.

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

* My little guy knows that he didn’t come out of my tummy, but I don’t feel it warrants correcting during such a beautiful story.

Really Cool Things to do With Your Kids

By Scarlet Mom | August 5, 2011 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Just For Fun | Comments Off

As summer draws to a close, are you getting bored or running out of fun things to do with your kids? The Bloggess has come up with some really creative things to do with your kids.

My favorite is the one where you use a heat gun to glue crayons to a foam board. Leave it out in the heat and let them melt. Since I live on the sun, or Houston (same thing), this is an excellent project for me and the little guy. I know he will love it.

All of these projects look fun and each one contains other links that will take you to other sites for even more fun things to do. Enjoy!!

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

The Perfect Bedtime Routine

By Scarlet Mom | July 21, 2011 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Self Improvement | Comments Off

I have the perfect bedtime routine with my son. At least, we think it’s perfect. He reads a few pages of a book and then I read him a bedtime story. Lately, it’s been the same book every night and I have to stop for one specific line that he will break out and sing every time it repeats in the book. It never fails to make me laugh. Some nights we are belly laughing.

I read a book this summer about how to meditate with your child. The benefits of meditation are teaching your child to appreciate calm and quietness in their little bodies and how good that can feel. If you have ever had a really grueling day and finally lied down in your bed and had absolute quiet, then you have an appreciation for meditation.

I start by telling him to gently close his eyes. I then tell him to relax his head; let it sink deeply into his pillow. I go through his whole body (if you want a detailed explanation leave me a note in the comments or on my FB page) and help him to relax. It only took one night and now he asks for it every night. If I go too quickly he’ll ask me to start again or ask me to talk about more “relaxings.” We used to struggle at bedtime and sometimes he refused to go to sleep. Now he asks for this and he is out within ten minutes. More importantly, the bonding that we are experiencing is beyond words. While I go through the “relaxings” I have my hand on his back (always next to his skin, never a shirt) so we have that skin-on-skin contact which I believe is so important. Bedtime used to be a three-ring-circus; now, it’s a beautiful bonding experience for us both.

Now this may work perfectly for us. Right now. Today. Who knows what will work next month or even next week. I’m sure the routine you have with your children is completely different…or maybe it’s similar. The point is, whatever works for you and your family is what you should do. Recently I came across a blog that I really enjoyed about being the perfect mom, The Supermom. It asks the very pointed question, “Would you rather be a supermom or a real mom?” The truth is, behind every so-called “supermom” is real woman who is failing herself, and her family, miserably. Yes, we can do it all but we can’t do it all flawlessly, without coming up for air, without taking a break, without a support system, and without recharging our batteries. The problem is, if we cling to this “supermom” stigma we may be trying to recharge our batteries in an unhealthy way (alcohol, drugs, binging, etc.) and only hanging on by a thread. By admitting we’re not perfect, that our children are not perfect, we can free ourselves to ask for help and open ourselves up to a free and healthy way of life that can be free from yelling, that can make you more emotionally available to your children and your spouse, and can help you be a better role model for your children.

There are plenty of groups for moms to follow on the Internet that offer support to other moms (and dads) out there. Just make sure that their values align with yours and that you feel comfortable in the groups you select. Don’t feel bad for leaving a group if you so choose. I left one, very popular, group because their ethics did not align at all with mine. Members were not free to disagree with things that were posted and there would be a backlash against you if you did. Although I disagree with many opinions I see and read, my education has taught me not to judge others. For those that lash out in anger, I do my best to feel compassion for them.

I’m far from perfect and I’m no supermom. But I’m a real mom and damn proud of it. So real in fact that I left the house yesterday with my shirt inside out.

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom