All posts in Dating Life of a Single Mom

The Lost Art of Texting

By Scarlet Mom | April 15, 2012 | Dating Life of a Single Mom, Self Improvement, Single & Loving It | Comments Off

Are you a texting savant? More than likely, you are a texting dork. Do you text your potential dates with, “Yo!” or, even worse, “Did I mention that I’m a great lover? LOL.” Texts like that won’t get you noticed and might even get you blocked. (I didn’t go on a second date because an idiot sent me that “great lover” text. Moron.)

There is definitely an art to texting especially if you are texting a beautiful woman, who probably gets quite a few advances and texts every single week. AskMen.com posted a short video on texting women. I am quoting most of what they say in their video while also expanding a little bit.

NEVER SEND MEANINGLESS TEXTS
It’s great that you’re reaching out, but “Hi” is pretty damn useless.

SEND THE RIGHT TEXT & STAND OUT
Write playful and enticing texts. It’s okay to joke as long as it’s relevant and not sexting. If it’s early in the relationship then it’s way too soon. If you’re joking around NEVER insert “LOL” especially if you’re a guy. Grown men don’t LOL. Try “haha” instead.

Think I’m off base with the “LOL?” Think of someone you hold in high regard or that you admire. Let’s say it’s a Presidential figure, or maybe a famous CEO like Jack Welch. Maybe it’s a long-time colleague of your mother or father’s. Do you think he or she texts “LOL?” Exactly. Let’s class it up, shall we?

DON’T ASK EXTENSIVE QUESTIONS
Your texts shouldn’t FORCE the person to keep the conversation going, they should MAKE them want to keep it going. Keep it light.

DON’T BE CHEESY
Just be yourself. Don’t try out stupid pick-up lines and don’t start asking what he or she is wearing. Grow up.

BE PATIENT
While it is always important to return text messages you don’t have to return them the very second they arrive. A little anticipation can be nice.

While I am a firm believer in sexting, make sure the relationship has progressed to that point before launching into that rhetoric. Sexting is a lot of fun but if you both are not on the same page you will doom your relationship.

When you’re early in your relationship or just starting to date take note of the rules above and have fun getting to know your potential new mate!!

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

Real Man Wanted

By Scarlet Mom | April 1, 2012 | Dating Life of a Single Mom, Single & Loving It | Comments Off

I need a real man. Not some pansy-ass, whiny little shit. I also don’t want a man that is over-the-top boiling over with testosterone, either. Let’s review my last couple boyfriends, shall we?

My first real relationship after my divorce was with Mr. Adonis. I call him that because he had a drop dead, gorgeous body. He basically looked like this:

I remember the first time I removed his shirt and got a good look at that chiseled body; WOW!! I had just left a ten year marriage and entered into a hot, steamy, sex-filled relationship. The sexual chemistry between us was palpable. He traveled a lot but when he was in town we were on 24/7. It was an amazing time but unfortunately I felt there was just too much “Type A” and testosterone for a long-term relationship and, after many break-ups, we finally went our separate ways.

For my next serious relationship I went with a “Type B” personality and probably a little too much estrogen. It was a welcome change for me to have someone who was all about taking care of my needs and being so selfless. I enjoyed having someone who was so loving, caring, and doting. I had never been treated so wonderfully in my entire life.

Unfortunately, it grew tiresome. He become so needy and it became very fucking annoying. Our breakup was endless. I recently started dating another “Type B” and ended it very quickly; I had visions of another miserable needy relationship followed by another endless breakup. It’s just not what I want out of a relationship.

I need a little bad boy in my men and need some conflict and adventure in my life. A Beaver Cleaver life just doesn’t cut it for me. Don’t get me wrong…I don’t want someone to treat me badly! But I’m a Leo and Leo personalities need to have a perfect balance in their lives along with excitement and always being in the spotlight:

A romantic relationship with a Leo woman is unlikely to be a tame affair. Love for her is not about being buddies or pining away in devotion. It is a grand passion to be played out with all the flamboyance and intensity of a leonine temperament. In fact Leo women like to have a bit of theatricality in their love lives. So if you want to retain the interest of your Leo girlfriend, make sure that you add an element of thrill or drama to your relationship. Surprising her with extravagant gestures, arranging meetings in out-of-the-way settings and indulging in some role-play will go a long way in keeping her hooked to you.

I have decided that I need an “A-” type personality. No more “B” type personalities for me. I need the theatrics and everyone who knows me knows how much I thrive in the spotlight. It makes me happy and helps create a much better me.

So, Mr. A-, I await your presence in my life. Stories of your grandiose arrival will reverberate throughout social circles for years to come.

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

Learning Women Speak

By Scarlet Mom | March 26, 2012 | Dating Life of a Single Mom, Self Improvement, Single & Loving It | Comments Off

When conversing or arguing with your wife or girlfriend, there are some terms that you must come to grips with and learn very quickly.

Let’s dive right in:

FINE
This is the word that almost all women use to end an argument when she knows she is right (which she is 99.9% of the time) and you just need to shut the fuck up.

NOTHING
Nothing means something and you need to be worried. Very worried.

GO AHEAD
This is not even close to giving you permission and is instead a dare. Do not do it. I double dog dare you to go against my advice.

WHATEVER
This is every woman’s way of saying “fuck you.”

THAT’S OKAY
This means that we are done tolerating and arguing with you for the time being. It’s a woman’s way of taking a time out to think long and hard on how and when you will pay for your idiotic mistake.

WOW!
This is not a compliment. She’s amazed that one person could be so fucking stupid.

Should you choose to not learn these terms or to just dismiss them, you will probably hear, “Get out of my bedroom!” or, “Go sleep on the couch!” Once you hear these words you are officially in groveling territory and will need to figure out what your woman needs in order to accept you back into her good graces. Here are some ideas:

Flowers: If all your woman needs are flowers run, do not walk, to buy this woman an engagement ring or fall down on your knees and worship her for all eternity. She is an angel.

Shoes/Clothing: Don’t think for a second that either of these items come from a mall. Louboutins and Chanel can only purchased from high-end department stores like Neiman’s and Sak’s Fifth Avenue.

The Platinum Card/Cash: Placing your Platinum card or a very large wad of cash in her delicate and beautiful hands always works wonders. DO NOT give her a spending limit. Instead, tell her to make a day of it. Spa, shop and have fun. Why? Because you fucked up and she deserves it.

Don’t forget the make-up sex!! That’s the best part of arguing.

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

It’s Mardi Gras, Mutha Fuckas!!

By Scarlet Mom | February 21, 2012 | Dating Life of a Single Mom, Just For Fun, Single & Loving It | Comments Off

Welcome to the jungle, baby! ScarletMom is back from Mardi Gras and let me tell you, I was born to do Mardi Gras in New Orleans. We stormed Bourbon Street and it will never be the same. Holy shit! From getting body paint (the picture is the body painter, not me) to getting so many beads I couldn’t carry them all to shocking everyone around me, Mardi Gras is my soulmate when it comes to parties.

I tried to get a picture flashing in front of the Jesus people but they kept jumping in front of me. Sinners the bunch of them! I don’t care where I go when I die; just make sure I’m on the A-list for the parties.

As many of you know I love to do things solely for their jaw-dropping power and “wow” factor. This was accomplished at Mardi Gras. The best part of our trip was when a couple approached us and asked Drew for a string of his beads (bartering at its best). She offered to let us both fondle her boobs. We made the deal and she lifted her shirt. After the fondling she hugged me good-bye and gave me a kiss…and what a kiss! The “WOW” uttered from Drew and the seven and half minute recovery time needed by Mr. Shocker to regain his composure was epic. I apologize for not having a photo or video of the event.

We ended the night where else, but a strip club. Mr. Shocker folded length-wise about forty $1 bills and laid them all along the stage for all five of us to use for lap dances. Another epic event. I love strip clubs and they love me. It was an absolute blast. (Mr. & Mrs. Shocker got their name because I explained to them what “the Shocker” is. If you don’t know, Google it.)

I haven’t known Drew for very long and this was the first time I met his friends. I have to say all of them (Drew included) are among the finest people I have met and some seriously fun people, too. I would party with these guys any day of the week. You guys rock!!

Next year in Mardi Gras!!

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

PS The very top picture is me in the very cool Mardi Gras mask that was a gift from Drew. How awesome is that?

Saying “I Love You” Isn’t Just for Valetine’s Day

By Scarlet Mom | February 14, 2012 | Dating Life of a Single Mom, Just For Fun, Self Improvement, Single & Loving It | Comments Off

Today, my Facebook page is flooded with posts about flowers, chocolates, and special dinners. But my absolute favorite post was this one:

This morning I said to Brenda, “Happy Valentines Day, wife.”. She replied, “You make every day Valentines day…” and kissed me. I am going to redouble my efforts in that regard, every day. She deserves it…

I agree with my friend, Marty. Every day should be Valentine’s Day. Just like every day should be Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and your kid’s day…you get my drift.

I think it’s a wonderful sentiment to buy flowers and chocolates and have a special date night on these occasions. But don’t wait. Make everyday special. Every morning when you wake up, take the time to tell your special lady how gorgeous she looks. Stroke her hair and give her a kiss before the kids come bouncing in. Ladies, when your man is still sleeping, edge up next to him and spoon with him. Shower him with kisses. If you can do this naked, even better! Show that special someone that you care every single day. Once a year is surely not enough.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all you lovers out there. Make this the start of a brand new year of showing your love every single day!

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

Moms Truly Know The Definition of Exhaustion

By Scarlet Mom | February 10, 2012 | Being a Mom IS Sexy, Dating Life of a Single Mom, Just For Fun, Self Improvement | Comments Off

I’m tired. Really, truly tired and exhausted. I love my little guy “infinity plus one” (as he puts it) but sometimes the pressure is just too much and feel I just can’t go one more day.

Most parents would agree that their little one is beyond perfect. Mine is, too. But the reality is my sweet boy is ADHD and the past week has been littered with him trying to talk back, trying to negotiate for more TV time, more computer time, not doing his school work and, most recently, and full-out temper tantrum and melt down. He has been doing so perfectly well I should have known that we were due. All of this stress brings on my migraines and one exhausted mama. It’s a vicious circle.

But then I remember to breathe. I remember that we, as a society, cling too tightly to the word “normal” and what our inner circle deems appropriate. I try to remember what my studies of The Buddha have taught me about attachment and clinging; how we all tend to cling to what humanity dictates normal behaviors, punishments, and societal norms.

I breathe and remember that I’m doing the best I can.

I breathe and remember that my son is doing the best he can.

And so, instead of wondering what everyone else would do in this situation I followed my heart. My son and I sat down and talked about what was going on. He did lose some privileges for a day but most of all, this exercise taught him to verbalize what is going on his young little head and heart. By doing this exercise repeatedly, I believe it will help him to avoid these melt-downs in the future. Anger tends to come from any unresolved emotion, be it sadness, hurt, loneliness, etc. Helping him verbalize his feelings helps us both come up with some good future solutions.

Am I still tired? OMG, yes. But I feel so much more at peace and I’m actually sleeping…we both are. Motherhood is tough but it is so rewarding. Especially when he says things to me like this:

“Mommy, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”
“Do you like my devilishly handsome good looks?”
“Do I look awesome?”
“Oh, my mommy is the best mommy in the whole wide world….” (singing)
“Mommy, I found inner peace because of you teaching me meditation.”

To all of you moms out there, keep on rockin’ motherhood. Life wouldn’t be what it is without you. But don’t forget to love yourself, hug yourself, and take a break once in a while and take a little nap.

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom