All posts in Self Improvement

Saying “I Love You” Isn’t Just for Valetine’s Day

heart

Today, my Facebook page is flooded with posts about flowers, chocolates, and special dinners. But my absolute favorite post was this one:

This morning I said to Brenda, “Happy Valentines Day, wife.”. She replied, “You make every day Valentines day…” and kissed me. I am going to redouble my efforts in that regard, every day. She deserves it…

I agree with my friend, Marty. Every day should be Valentine’s Day. Just like every day should be Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and your kid’s day…you get my drift.

I think it’s a wonderful sentiment to buy flowers and chocolates and have a special date night on these occasions. But don’t wait. Make everyday special. Every morning when you wake up, take the time to tell your special lady how gorgeous she looks. Stroke her hair and give her a kiss before the kids come bouncing in. Ladies, when your man is still sleeping, edge up next to him and spoon with him. Shower him with kisses. If you can do this naked, even better! Show that special someone that you care every single day. Once a year is surely not enough.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all you lovers out there. Make this the start of a brand new year of showing your love every single day!

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

Moms Truly Know The Definition of Exhaustion

Big Kisses

I’m tired. Really, truly tired and exhausted. I love my little guy “infinity plus one” (as he puts it) but sometimes the pressure is just too much and feel I just can’t go one more day.

Most parents would agree that their little one is beyond perfect. Mine is, too. But the reality is my sweet boy is ADHD and the past week has been littered with him trying to talk back, trying to negotiate for more TV time, more computer time, not doing his school work and, most recently, and full-out temper tantrum and melt down. He has been doing so perfectly well I should have known that we were due. All of this stress brings on my migraines and one exhausted mama. It’s a vicious circle.

But then I remember to breathe. I remember that we, as a society, cling too tightly to the word “normal” and what our inner circle deems appropriate. I try to remember what my studies of The Buddha have taught me about attachment and clinging; how we all tend to cling to what humanity dictates normal behaviors, punishments, and societal norms.

I breathe and remember that I’m doing the best I can.

I breathe and remember that my son is doing the best he can.

And so, instead of wondering what everyone else would do in this situation I followed my heart. My son and I sat down and talked about what was going on. He did lose some privileges for a day but most of all, this exercise taught him to verbalize what is going on his young little head and heart. By doing this exercise repeatedly, I believe it will help him to avoid these melt-downs in the future. Anger tends to come from any unresolved emotion, be it sadness, hurt, loneliness, etc. Helping him verbalize his feelings helps us both come up with some good future solutions.

Am I still tired? OMG, yes. But I feel so much more at peace and I’m actually sleeping…we both are. Motherhood is tough but it is so rewarding. Especially when he says things to me like this:

“Mommy, has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”
“Do you like my devilishly handsome good looks?”
“Do I look awesome?”
“Oh, my mommy is the best mommy in the whole wide world….” (singing)
“Mommy, I found inner peace because of you teaching me meditation.”

To all of you moms out there, keep on rockin’ motherhood. Life wouldn’t be what it is without you. But don’t forget to love yourself, hug yourself, and take a break once in a while and take a little nap.

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

Are You Sure You Want To Drink That Coke?

facts-about-soda-fat

Most of you know how I feel about sodas and what they do to your body. If I haven’t convinced you yet, Eat This Not That published another enlightening article about sodas. This time they are focusing on the disturbing side effects on sodas. If you think you’re safe because you drink diet sodas, think again! Soda is nothing but sugar water that turns to fat once inside your body. If you can’t figure out why your waist-line is constantly expanding you may want to look at your soda consumption. Just one per day can make you fat! Not to mention what they do to our environment. Just the fact that they accelerate aging made me stop drinking them long ago.

Here’s what they had to say:

Weird Fat in Weird Places

In the latest bad news for the soda industry, Danish researchers discovered that drinking non-diet soda leads to dramatic increases in fat buildup around your liver and your skeletal muscles, both of which can contribute to insulin resistance and diabetes. The study revealed that people who drank a regular soda every day for six months saw a 132 to 142 percent increase in liver fat, a 117 to 221 percent jump in skeletal fat, and about a 30 percent increase in both triglyceride blood fats and other organ fat. Their consumption also led to an 11 percent increase in cholesterol, compared with the people who drank other beverages such as water or milk.

Diet-Soda Belly

It’s not surprising that drinking all the sugar in sodas would cause weight gain, but what is surprising is that even diet soda will pack on the pounds: Researchers from the University of Texas Health Science Center monitored 475 adults for 10 years, and found that those who drank diet soda had a 70 percent increase in waist circumference over the 10-year study, compared with those who didn’t drink any soda. Those who drank more than two diet sodas per day saw a 500 percent waist expansion! A separate study the same researchers conducted on mice suggested that it was the aspartame, which raised blood glucose levels, that caused the weight gain; when your liver encounters too much glucose, the excess is converted to body fat.

Caramel Cancer-Causers

In 2011, the nonprofit Center for Science in the Public Interest petitioned the Food and Drug Administration to ban the artificial caramel coloring used to make Coke, Pepsi, and other colas brown. The reason: Two contaminants in the coloring, 2-methylimidazole and 4-methylimidazole, have been found to cause cancer in animals, a threat the group says is unnecessary, considering that the coloring is purely cosmetic. According to California’s strict Proposition 65 list of chemicals known to cause cancer, just 16 micrograms per person per day of 4-methylimidazole is enough to pose a cancer threat, and most popular brown colas, both diet and regular, contain 200 micrograms per 20-ounce bottle.

Accelerated Aging

Diet or regular, all colas contain phosphates, or phosphoric acid, a weak acid that gives colas their tangy flavor and improves their shelf life. Although it exists in many whole foods, such as meat, dairy, and nuts, too much phosphoric acid can lead to heart and kidney problems, muscle loss, and osteoporosis, and one study suggests it could trigger accelerated aging. The study, published in a 2010 issue of the FASEB Journal, found that the excessive phosphate levels found in sodas caused lab rats to die a full five weeks earlier than the rats whose diets had more normal phosphate levels—a disturbing trend considering that soda manufacturers have been increasing the levels of phosphoric acid in their products over the past few decades.

Water Pollution

The artificial sweeteners used in diet sodas don’t break down in our bodies, nor do wastewater treatment plants catch them before they enter waterways, researchers have found. In 2009, Swiss scientists tested water samples from wastewater treatment plants, rivers and lakes in Switzerland and detected levels of acesulfame K, sucralose, and saccharin, all of which are, or have been, used in diet sodas. A recent test of 19 municipal water supplies in the U.S. revealed the presence of sucralose in every one. It’s not clear yet what these low levels are doing to people, but past research has found that sucralose in rivers and lakes interferes with some organisms’ feeding habits.

Mountain Dew Mind

Dentists have a name for the condition they see in a lot of kids who drink too much Mountain Dew. They wind up with a “Mountain Dew Mouth,” full of cavities caused by the drink’s excessive sugar levels. “Mountain Dew Mind” may be the next condition that gets named after the stuff. An ingredient called brominated vegetable oil, added to prevent the flavoring from separating from the drink, is an industrial chemical used as a flame retardant in plastics. Also found in other citrus-based soft drinks and sports drinks, the chemical has been known to cause memory loss and nerve disorders if consumed in large quantities. Researchers also suspect that, like brominated flame retardants used in furniture foam, the chemical builds up in body fat, possibly causing behavioral problems, infertility, and lesions on heart muscles over time.

Toxic Cans

It’s not just the soda that’s causing all the problems. Nearly all aluminum soda cans are lined with an epoxy resin called bisphenol-A (BPA), used to keep the acids in soda from reacting with the metal. BPA is known to interfere with hormones, and has been linked to everything from infertility to obesity to some forms of reproductive cancers. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have pegged soda cans, along with restaurant, school and fast-food meals, as a major source of exposure to the chemical. And while Pepsi and Coke are currently locked in a battle to see which company can be the first to develop a 100-percent plant-based plastic bottle—which they’re touting as “BPA free”—neither company is willing to switch to BPA-free aluminum cans.

Dead Birds

Before you switch from cans to bottles, though, take a look at the photographs of Chris Jordan, an environmentalist and photographer who visited the Midway Atoll area in 2009. It’s close to the “Great Pacific Garbage Patch,” a mass of plastic debris in the Pacific Ocean where things like soda caps (which often aren’t recycled) and plastic fish netting float just beneath the surface of the water. Birds, sea turtles and other wildlife mistake the debris for food and eat large quantities of the plastic, which they are unable to digest. Ultimately, the plastic causes them to starve to death. It’s estimated that thousands of animals die this way every year.

Unknown Side Effects of GMOs

Take a look at the ingredients list of any soda, and chances are, most of them are derived from corn. 88 percent of the corn grown in the U.S. is genetically modified to resist toxic pesticides or engineered to create pesticides within the plant itself. Thanks to lax government safety regulations, and tight corporate control over who gets to test these proprietary seeds, there are no human studies that can prove or disprove whether these crops are safe. Independent scientists have found that, in animals, genetically modified crops, or GMOs, are linked to digestive tract damage, accelerated aging, and even infertility. By drinking soda, you’re taking part in the biggest science experiment on the planet.

What changes are you willing to make in your diet?

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

PS I’m so happy to be blogging again! Now that I have finished my book I have time again. Look for updates on when it will be published, probably in about 3-4 months.

A Resolution for Life

resolution

Since 2012 arrived I have been reading about New Year’s resolutions. Some are making big changes, others are taking baby steps, while many are opting to not make any resolutions whatsoever since they always end up breaking them within the first couple months of the year. I think resolutions are like diets; they never work. Diets are die with a “t.” Resolutions don’t fall far behind. People make these life-altering decisions to change who they are and how they conduct themselves are their core. Of course they’re doomed for failure.

A resolution should not be about how you can change you this year but instead, I think, we should ask ourselves, “What one small change can I make within myself that will make me a better me, for the rest of my life?” A new year is a time to reflect back upon one’s life so far and to plan for the future. We need to be realistic and live in the present moment but why is everyone only planning for the next few months? Or, at the most, only the next year? Socrates said,

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

I couldn’t agree more.

After examining my life I decided to make one small change in my life that could and would greatly impact the rest of my life. I decided to give up 30 minutes of television per day. I DVR every show I watch so I really don’t have to cut any shows out of my repertoire if I don’t want to, but I did. I am by far not a couch potato but an article came out last year stating that “…each additional hour spent in front of the TV increased the risk of dying from heart disease by 18 percent and the overall risk of death by 11 percent.” I read the article on CNN Health. Of course, we are a society that loves to veg-out in front of the TV. But trust me, there are many other things you can do to relax.

So what, pray tell, will I do with those extra thirty minutes I now have every day? Here is a partial list of the many things that I can do to help make me a better me and also impact the world around me.

1. Play with my son/take him to the park
2. Exercise
3. Blog
4. Write or journal
5. Have coffee with a friend, face-to-face
6. Volunteer
7. Clean up
8. Call and catch up with friends
9. Meditate
10. Study/Take a class on-line
11. Read a book
12. Use your camera; see the world through a new lens
13. Go for a walk
14. Do yoga
15. Surf the net and see what new things you can discover
16. Do something you’ve been putting off
17. Begin learning a new language

It’s amazing what you can do by freeing up just 30 minutes in your day. What could you do with an extra 30 minutes?

Present & Peaceful
Scarlet Mom

Hangover Tips

hangover

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Sorry, was that too loud? The rest of this post will be delivered in a hushed tone. Unfortunately, there is no cure for hangover. Like a cold or the flu, a hangover must run its course. You can, however, treat a hangover’s symptoms.

The best course of action is prevention. The primary reason you feel like hammered dog shit right now is because you’re dehydrated. When indulging in a night of self-degradation, be sure to chug down a glass of room temperature water for each glass of booze you consume, or at least every other glass of booze. Your mantra should be hydrate, hydrate, hydrate…and then hydrate some more. And before you go to bed take two pain killers with two glasses of water. If you really want to rehydrate I recommend Pedialyte. It will hydrate you even better than Gatorade. When taking pain killers be sure to follow the directions. Your liver is already working overtime so any extra work is not advised. I would also avoid Tylenol.

When you wake up in the morning, avoid the urge to reach for more pain killers (if you can). Again, your liver is in overdrive and your stomach probably can’t take it. Instead, reach for some blue Gatorade and some coconut water. Coconut Water is a natural fat free drink and will rehydrate your body while providing necessary minerals, such as potassium and sodium. And blue Gatorade…who didn’t drink that while in college? There is just something about that blue dye that helps headaches. I promise.

Another reason you feel like death is because alcohol is toxic to every organ in your body. The main reason is a chemical called acetaldehyde. This is an alcohol by-product that research suggests may cause the worst of your hangover symptoms. It is comparable to formaldehyde. Now it’s starting to make sense as to why you wish you were dead. To help flush this toxic chemical out of your body you can do two things. First, eat that greasy bacon and egg sandwich you’re craving. Cysteine is an amino acid found in most high-protein foods such as pork and eggs and will help mop up that nasty acetaldehyde in your body. Second, contrary to how you feel, go out and get some exercise. Yes, you may have to crawl down the street and vomit a few times but, I promise, you’ll feel better! Seriously, if you’re not hugging the porcelain throne, take a water bottle (or your blue Gatorade) and go get 30 minutes of exercise. It will help flush those nasty toxins out of your precious little body.

Last, but not least, watch this video. This offers some great advice and has a great recovery smoothie for you to whip up. Quietly, of course.
Hangover Remedies

I hope this helps and I hope you feel better. Here’s to a rockin’ 2012!!

Still Rockin’ It
Scarlet Mom

What a Woman Should Have

2012

As the new year approaches most of are making a list of our new year’s resolutions. Most are short lived: weight loss, exercise more, lower cholesterol, spend less money, save more money, etc, etc. But for those of us in our 30s and 40s it’s time to look inward and take inventory of our lives and see what is missing, where we can contribute, and how to be a better person.

Pamela Redmond Satran created a list when she turned the big 30 of what she wanted to tell younger women. It was a list of everything she wished she knew before she turned 30. So many huge changes happen to us all by the time we reach 40 and she has compiled a list of the “40 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 40.”

By 40, you should have:

An exercise regime.
A passport with stamps in it.
One fabulous, comfortable pair of high heels.
A well-stocked pantry, making it possible to make a meal at a moment’s notice.
A cordless drill and know how to use it.
A bucket list and be checking things off now.
A nice set of cloth napkins and actually use them.
Experienced a bad relationship and raised the bar as a result.
The perfect little black dress (or two).
Respect for yourself and others.
Laugh lines you are proud of earning.
Appropriate outfits for a funeral, wedding, interview, and cocktail party.
A mammogram annually–no excuses!
Clearly defined boundaries.
A standby meal you can whip up at a moment’s notice (from your well-stocked pantry).
An understanding of who your true friends are, limiting your energy and time with the rest.
A male friend for a guy’s perspective.
A well-worn, go-to, dog-earred cookbook that you trust and know like a friend.
An understanding of what you want out of life. And actually be working towards it.
Enough memorable life experiences to write a memoir.

By 40, you should know:

How to be happy.
What it means to be beautiful.
Who you are and embrace what makes you unique.
How to say no without guilt.
That money really doesn’t buy happiness.
How to count blessings in challenging times.
How to walk away from an unhealthy relationship (platonic or romantic).
To live without regret.
Perfection will never be attained and to be at peace with that.
A person’s actions are more important than their words.
Seemingly hopeless situations will improve with time.
How to forgive and ask forgiveness.
To embrace your past; it shaped who you are.
People won’t change no matter how hard you try to make them.
How to ask for help.
Love is not enough for a successful relationship.
To take responsibility for your actions.
To buy the fabulous, impractical shoe on sale; it will haunt you otherwise.
To avoid people who hold grudges, seek revenge, and cling to bitterness.
Life isn’t a dress rehearsal.

I, personally, think you should also know:

How to change a tire
How to change a diaper
How to administer CPR
How to handle household finances
How to file taxes (or gather up the necessary receipts for your accountant)
Know where every single dollar and all paperwork is located if married

What do you think? Would you add anything? Take anything away? Which ones speak loudest to you?

Consider this list when planning your 2012 resolutions…and have a seriously rockin’ New Year’s Eve!!

Still Rockin’ It!!
Scarlet Mom